


let me be your...

by jinwoosmile



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, members taking care of members
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-08-31 13:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8581150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinwoosmile/pseuds/jinwoosmile
Summary: Five times the members took care of Dongmin, and the one time he didn't need them to.





	1. ...comfort

Dongmin had never imagined that he’d end up where he was. Honestly- he had always thought he’d go to school, graduate, go to college, and then become a judge, making his family proud in the process. The thought of being an idol had never crossed his mind.

At least, until he was scouted.

Now, he had an entirely different life than he ever expected, and it was amazing, for the most part. He loved the other members of Astro like family, and all the opportunities he’d had since joining Fantagio, all the traveling and television performances and meeting his own personal idols and the amazing fans- it was mind-boggling, and Dongmin would never stop being thankful for getting to experience it all. 

Sometimes, though- sometimes, the amazement could be forgotten. When they had been dancing for so long he could barely feel his limbs, and wanted nothing more than to lie down and go to sleep right on the practice room floor. When fans followed them from location to location, never getting a break from the face he had to put on for the public to see. And particularly right now- when his personal schedule and appearances were still existing, even as the rest of Astro took a step back from the public eye to prepare for their comeback.

The enchantment had been missing for what was going on a week or so when Dongmin walked into the dorm after one particularly grueling day. It was nearing four o’clock in the morning, and he was finally getting back from a day filled to the brim with activities- he’d filmed for the drama that was coming out after Astro’s comeback, had rehearsals for his MC spot, and what felt like a million other things that revolved around them. Traffic had been awful on the way back from his final schedule, a huge car wreck that left them in stand-still streets until the manager finally managed to pull onto a side street and weave around it.

Dongmin kicked off his shoes carelessly. He knew they had an early practice in just a few hours, and he couldn’t miss it. He’d not had the best of sleep schedules before becoming a trainee, studying into all hours of the night to maintain excellent grades. But now, after weeks of surviving on what were more like naps than true sleep, the thought of waking up and going straight to the company building was nearly enough to make Dongmin cry. With a heavy sigh he rested against the wall, tilting his head back and telling himself that in just a minute, he’d move. He’d go and wash the makeup off his face, and then go to his and Bin’s bedroom and go to sleep.

“Hyung?” came a sleepy voice, and Dongmin almost jumped out of his skin in fright. 

Clutching his heart, Dongmin gasped. “Rocky?” 

There was a shuffling, and- of course. Minhyuk was on the couch, where he almost always slept. Dongmin hadn’t noticed him when he’d walked in.

Minhyuk sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Did you just get back?” he asked, and Dongmin tried to slow his racing heartbeat as he nodded. Minhyuk hummed, then shuffled a bit, pressing himself up against the back of the couch. 

Dongmin realized what Minhyuk was doing only a moment before the younger boy patted the now-vacant half of the cushions. “I need to...” he started to say, with a floppy arm gesture towards the bathroom, where his face wash (and honestly, the much-needed shower) were.

But Minhyuk just gave him a sleepy look, then patted the cushions again. Dongmin hesitated for a moment more, but before he could convince himself not to, his body pitched towards the couch in a graceless stumble. 

The groan that came out of Dongmin’s mouth when he finally was horizontal on the couch probably should have been embarrassing, but he was too tired to care. Sleep was already nipping at his heels as Minhyuk shifted to accommodate the second body a bit better, throwing a leg over Dongmin’s thigh and an arm over his back, humming in satisfaction.

Dongmin shamelessly buried his face into Minhyuk’s shoulder, breathing in the smell of the body wash they all used, plus another even more familiar smell. “Did you use my lotion?” he mumbled, eyes drooping.

Minhyuk hummed again. “Binnie-hyung accidentally poured out too much,” he said. Dongmin’s eyes shut all the way, the proximity to Minhyuk’s chest letting him hear the rumble of a voice that was slowly deepening as Minhyuk continued to grow. “He smeared on me so he didn’t waste.”

After that, Dongmin wasn’t really sure what Minhyuk talked about. But he continued speaking in a low voice, telling Dongmin about something or another that had happened in the practice room while he’d been out.

Between his exhaustion and Minhyuk’s quiet narration, Dongmin was out like a light in moments. The next morning, he’d wake up feeling a little better than he had the night before, maybe wonder if Minhyuk could tell that he’d been nearing the end of his rope when he’d gotten to the dorm the hours before. It didn’t really matter though- for all that the schedules and appearances could lose their sparkle, the friendships he’d made in the group were real, and were going nowhere fast.


	2. ...family

It was no secret that fans liked to fit members of groups into certain roles, especially ones akin to family. They weren’t entirely incorrect to do so- though he couldn’t speak for all groups, Dongmin could undoubtedly say that Astro was like a second family to him. Perhaps they didn’t have set ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ roles like the fans went crazy for, but there was an undeniable dynamic of brotherhood between all of them. 

That being said, when Bin had made their ‘DDOCA family’, it became a bit of a running gag in the group. They’d use it when they played around between practices. They’d especially had fun with it when they’d been practicing for their first mini-concert, when there was access to wigs for them to practice in and Jinwoo had shamelessly acted out his assigned mother role. 

More than just a means of play, though, the pretend family roles turned into a bit more. It wasn’t always easy for some of the members to come out and check up on the others. Dongmin knew that he himself was guilty a hundred times over of saying he was fine or that nothing was bothering him when he really should have said that he needed a break, just for a moment- and he also knew that doing so encouraged the awkwardness, but as hard as it was to ask after a member, sometimes it was as equally hard to answer honestly.

Perhaps the member that Dongmin had the most trouble connecting with on that level was Myungjun. It was, of course, possible for Myungjun to be serious- part of his happy virus image was, in fact, an image- but it was also a very real and very large part of his personality. It was of Dongmin’s opinion that it made it harder for him to ask more emotional questions. One had to listen a bit more carefully to Myungjun’s jokes and teasing to hear the undercurrent of care and concern that would run in them.

A day not long after Dongmin slept on the couch with Minhyuk, he didn’t have solo schedules. Instead, he stayed with the other members, working the day away in the company building. 

Hours later, as they were getting ready to head back to the dorm, Dongmin was resting against the mirrors of the entry room. He was tired to his very bones, but a good kind of tired- they had completed their dance, and it looked fantastic when they ran it. He was satisfied, and being satisfied let him tip his head back and close his eyes for a moment, listening to the voices of the other members as they banged around in their lockers, getting ready to leave. 

Suddenly there was a tap on his foot. “Excuse me, young man,” the person said, in a fake croak of a voice.

Smiling, Dongmin opened his eyes and looked up at Myungjun, who was hovering over him, shoulders rolled forward and hands on his hips. “Yes, grandfather?” Dongmin said, pulling himself up to sit a little straighter.

“Young man, have you been eating?” Myungjun continued, kicking Dongmin’s knee with his toe. 

“Yes, grandfather,” Dongmin said, a laugh working its way into his voice.

“And drinking water? And sleeping enough? You young people never sleep enough,” Myungjun said, flailing his arms in an over-exaggerated show of annoyance. 

Dongmin grinned more broadly. “I’m taking care of myself well, grandfather,” he said. The last part of his sentence got lost under the flow of the other member’s voices as Sanha noticed that Myungjun was playing and had started speaking in a shrill voice to be the sister. Minhyuk quickly joined him, announcing himself as the maknae loudly.

Pulling himself up off the ground, Dongmin grabbed Myungjun’s elbow. “Come on, grandfather, it’s time to go home,” he said, and laughed as Myungjun pulled his arm away, quickly going into a faux-rant about how he wasn’t that old yet, no sir, he could walk just fine, while at the same time shuffling forward at a snail’s pace.

Dongmin laughed louder than he had days.


	3. ...co-host

One thing Dongmin was incredibly conscious of was his temper. He’d gotten in trouble as a kid at home for lashing out at his younger brother, and had always had to work on controlling it in school. He’d become more conscious of it after he moved into the Fantagio dorms, and kept a tight leash on it, trying to present a calm and cool head to everyone. For the most part, it worked.

Sometimes, though, his temper flared, and Dongmin couldn’t get a lid on it quick enough to keep from lashing out.

He’d had another grueling series of days of little sleep and many activities. They were down to the crunch time before their comeback, and between their Asia tour, filming in Japan, and the million other things that came with releasing a new mini album, Dongmin was feeling stretched and at least mildly anxious about everything. He could feel a stress pimple forming under his skin near his nose, painful and undoubtedly stubborn enough not to disappear with normal skincare. He still had to memorize the script for that week’s MC scenes, but he had a splitting headache on top of it all.

It did little to help that some of the members were being louder than usual. In the back of his head, Dongmin knew that it was simply their reaction to the worry that came with doing a comeback. Sometimes, though, that didn’t really help.

He was sitting on one of the couches in the basement of the company building, script in his lap, head resting in one of his hands. Several members had tried to bother him, but he’d politely asked them to leave him alone. At one point, Jinwoo had snuck up to his side and blown in his ear, scaring him. It had almost been enough to snap the reign on his temper, but Dongmin had gotten it under control at the last second.

“Please, hyung,” he said, lips tight. “Not right now.” 

Jinwoo had obviously seen in his face that today was a worse day than usual, because he had backed off without another word. Dongmin couldn’t blame him entirely for trying to lighten the mood- he knew he was being a bit of black cloud, and for as much as he didn’t want to bring the group’s energy down, he truly did not have it in him when his head was aching and his usual focus was hard to find. 

He had finally managed to push the dual pains of the headache and the growing blemish to the back of his mind and really zone into his script, focussing on the slightly cheesy jokes and guest MC appearances of the week when it happened again. 

“Yah!” Dongmin shouted, head snapping up as Sanha scrambled back from the arm of the couch, grinning like the Cheshire Cat after sneaking up and blowing in Dongmin’s ear, just like Jinwoo had done a half hour ago. Dongmin’s head throbbed from the base of his skull to his temples, and his neck ached from snapping up so quickly. “Would you stop that!” he said angrily.

Sanha’s smile dropped off his face, and the other voices in the room died as everyone looked over. Dongmin realized that he had yelled, and all his angry energy suddenly fled from his body. “Sorry,” he said immediately, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. With a heavy exhale, he picked up his script and rose from the couch. “I’m going to one of the practice rooms,” he said, and then left the room as quickly as possible.

Once he was in one of the small vocal rooms, Dongmin leaned against the wall, closing his eyes as he sighed heavily. Sliding down to sit on the floor, Dongmin tossed the script to his side and rested his head in his arms, the guilt of snapping sitting heavily in his stomach.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed between getting into the room and when he jerked up at the sound of the door being pushed open, but it was enough for him to doze off without meaning to.

“Hey, hyung,” Sanha said quietly, stepping around the door and closing it behind him. 

Dongmin rubbed his face. “Hi,” he said in response. Sanha folded his long legs up so that he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, about a foot away from where Dongmin was still leaning against the wall. 

“I brought you these,” Sanha said, extending his hand in a fist. Dongmin reached out with his palm up, and Sanha dropped three white pain pills into his hand. “JinJin said you probably needed to take another dose.”

A small smile broke over Dongmin’s face. “He’s not wrong.”

“Here.” A water bottle, pulled out of the pocket of Sanha’s sweatpants. _I’m sorry for making you upset._

“Thank you,” Dongmin said, accepting the water. He took the pills, chasing them with water. _I’m sorry for snapping._

“Do you want help running your lines?” _It’s alright._

Dongmin smiled at Sanha, then reached over and picked up his script. Flipping through it, Dongmin found the last scene he had worked on. “Start here,” he said, passing the script to Sanha.

“Am I Saeron-ah?” Sanha asked, accepting the booklet.

Dongmin nodded. “And Soomin,” he added, shifting so that he was facing Sanha fully. 

“Ah,” Sanha said. “Should I do two different voices?”

With a tired smile, Dongmin said, “If you want to.” They spent the next hour running Dongmin’s lines, complete with Sanha’s different voices for each person that appeared in the script. When Jinwoo came to find them, Dongmin was in stitches, laid out on the floor as Sanha did a complete rendition of Twice’s TT.

It didn’t take long to devolve from there, as members were drawn to the sound of girl group songs being yelled across the practice rooms. Soon they had moved into the big practice room, Jinwoo had hooked his phone up to the speakers, and they were messing around, dancing to songs without caring if the choreography was right or not. Myungjun fell, Minhyuk spun, Sanha screamed and yelled, Bin did the choreography perfectly until Jinwoo joined him and they started doing nonsense while yelling the raps of songs over the recordings. Dongmin smiled and laughed and, for a while, forgot his stress and played with his members.


	4. ...relaxer

All of Astro were in excellent physical shape. They had to be- their dances demanded incredible amounts of energy, and learning and performing them as often as the six of them did was enough to kick anyone’s body into high-gear. And that was without the time they all put in at the gym.

Dongmin didn’t mind the shape his body was in. He had always been reasonably fit, between his natural metabolism, his height, and the sports he had played in middle and high school. Being an idol, though, was an entirely different beast- never in his life had Dongmin trained so much, and sometimes, he was still adjusting to it.

This night was one of those nights.

Dongmin stared up at the bottom of the top bunk. He’d been lying in his bed for at least an hour, trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. It was proving difficult- his muscles were beyond sore, and almost any shifting he did resulted in sharp seizing of his muscles. 

With a huffed breath, Dongmin quickly rolled over onto his side. He gasped a little as his stomach and back contracted, and held himself rigidly until the pain had faded enough for him to relax a bit. He’d always been a light sleeper- if noises woke him up easily, how could anyone expect him to fall asleep when his entire body protested any movement?

Sighing, Dongmin closed his eyes and tried once more to go to sleep. He didn’t understand how Minhyuk did it- the boy could fall asleep anywhere, in any position. The longer Dongmin lay there, with sleep refusing to come and nothing else to think about, he slowly became more aware of the different ways he was uncomfortable. His legs ached, particularly in his calves and thighs. He was fairly certain he could feel every tendon in his knees, and his butt was sore. His abdominal muscles probably felt like rocks, tense and unyielding in the most uncomfortable manner. His arms felt a bit like they were about to fall out of his shoulder joints. 

Worst of all, though, was his back. Dongmin had always carried his stress in his shoulders, and now not only were the knotted up from that, but the muscles the knots lived on were now even more sore and tense than usual. On top of that, Dongmin was gradually becoming aware of the pressure in his spine, like his back needed to be cracked.

Groaning, Dongmin opened his eyes again. His and Bin’s shared room was dark, the only light in the room coming from the streetlamp outside that their window shade didn’t fully manage to block. Their room was quiet- Dongmin could hear his own breathing, and the sound of Bin’s from the top bunk.

Biting his lip, Dongmin wondered how long Bin had been asleep. It usually didn’t take long for him to fall asleep- but he’d also taken a long nap in the car on their way back to the dorm. It was possible...

“Binnie?” Dongmin called softly.

Almost immediately, the mattress above him shifted. Bin let out a sleepy moan, but didn’t say anything.

“Binnie-ah,” Dongmin repeated, a little bit louder.

Another groan, more shifting. Then, in a scratchy voice, “What?”

“Will you pop my back?”

A moment of silence. Then, “Okay.”

Dongmin sighed in relief, rolling out of bed and onto the floor as Bin climbed down from the top bunk. 

“I’m opening the window to see,” Bin said, and Dongmin hummed his acknowledgement as he got onto his stomach. Bin’s hair was sticking up in a hundred different angles, his tank top falling off one of his shoulder as he fiddled with the blinds to let the orange streetlight into the room. “Put your arms out to the side,” Bin instructed, shuffling from the window to where Dongmin was laid out on the floor.

Dongmin complied, and Bin moved to stand over him, slowly pushing in circles along his spine. With a tisk, Bin tapped Dongmin’s arms. “Under your chest,” he said, and Dongmin grunted a little as his muscles complained at the movement. “Roll your shoulders forward,” Bin said, placed his hands towards the top of Dongmin’s spine. “Take a deep breath and hold it.” Dongmin filled his lungs as much as he could, and tried not to lose the air when Bin pushed down on his back sharply. 

The sounds of Dongmin’s back cracking were both disgusting and deeply satisfying. “Good lord,” Bin muttered after. He repeated the whole rub-then-crack process once more. Dongmin sighed in relief when he was done, letting his held breath out in one loud woosh. Bin’s hands stayed on his back, though, rubbing at the knots in his shoulders. Dongmin hissed as Bin’s thumbs pressed down on a particularly nasty one, right on the edge of his shoulder blade.

“Hush,” Bin said, rolling the knot over and over. The pain of it was white-hot in Dongmin’s shoulder for another moment, and then there was a noise even grosser than the sound of his spine popping. “Euk,” Bin said, gentling his fingers as he continued to rub where the knot had just broken. There were a couple quieter pops as the smaller knots broke, and then Bin was running his hands up and down the length of Dongmin’s back. “You need to get manager-nim to schedule you a massage,” Bin said as he sat down on Dongmin’s back and started rubbing his back in earnest.

“Why would I do that when I have you?” Dongmin asked, turning his head to rest his cheek on the floor and look up at Bin. It earned him a smack on the upper arm, causing a dull flare of pain in sore muscle. 

Bin kept rubbing Dongmin’s back, breaking three or four more knots before getting tired and moving to lie next to Dongmin on the floor. “Do you want me to rub your back?” Dongmin asked. It came out as more of a mumble- his sleepiness that had alluded him before was quickly creeping up now that his body had found a little bit of relief.

“Nah,” Bin said. They laid on the floor in silence for a moment, then Bin sat up enough to pull Dongmin’s pillow and blanket off of the bottom bunk. Bin shoved the pillow under his head, then man handled Dongmin into being the little spoon and throwing the blanket over the two of them. Falling asleep with Bin’s arms wrapped around his chest wasn’t something they indulged in too often- Bin was like a space heater when he slept, and usually like to sprawl out like an octopus instead of the curling up that cuddling required. But sometimes he wanted to cling, and Dongmin was always more than happy to let him.

His back may have been sore in specific spots that knots had been violently rubbed out the next day, but waking up with Bin plastered to his back (even if they were on the floor) certainly made it a little more worth it to Dongmin.


	5. ...keeper

Dongmin was exceptionally good at hiding ailments. He’d mastered the art of disguising fatigue, soreness, and illness when he was in public. It was a necessary skill when one was an idol- it was incriminating to show any kind of weakness. Dongmin knew this was nearly impossible, and an entirely unrealistic expectation placed on him and his fellow idols- but it was one he adhered to anyway.

Sometimes, though, there was a limit to what even he could hide. Especially when it happened before he could even make it out of the dorm.

He’d been feeling a bit off the entire evening, from their last vocal practice to the van, through the ride back to the dorm, even through dinner. A couple of the members could tell something was off- Jinwoo insisted that Dongmin take the first shower, even though Sanha had called dibs on it in the van. Dongmin had only put up a bit of a fight, hoping that maybe the steam of a hot shower would chase away whatever bug was trying to cling to him.

It seemed to help a little bit at first. He got out of the shower feeling cleaner, and must have mistaken it for feeling better. He got dressed in pajamas, said goodnight to Bin, and passed out. The next time he woke up, he wasn’t sure how long it had been, but he knew one thing- something was not right in his body. He felt like he was burning and freezing at the same time. He tried to croak out a call for Bin, because surely Bin was asleep in the bunk above him, but-

Oh. Bin was already there, standing at the side of the bed. “When did you get there?” Dongmin tried to say, but all that came out was a garbled mess of syllables.

“He’s too hot.” That was Bin’s voice. He sounded worked up, concerned.

“He’s going to be fine. The thermometer only says one-oh-two.” That sounded like their manager. Dongmin wondered if he could maybe convince him to take the lead blanket they had apparently added to his covers off of him. He knew his blankets weren’t usually this heavy.

“One oh three is when it gets dangerous, right?” Jinwoo was in their room, too. How strange, Dongmin thought. It was turning into a bit of a party.

“If he gets to one oh three we’ll put him in a cold shower,” their manager said. Dongmin tried to protest. There was little in the world he hated more than cold showers, even if they were good for your hair after you put conditioner in it. “If that doesn’t help we’ll take him to the hospital.”

“The hospital?” Bin shrieked, and Dongmin winced at the noise. A shiver wracked his body, and he shuddered. The act made him ache all over a little bit, and Dongmin groaned a bit.

A hand combed through his hair. “It’s gonna be alright, Eunwoo-yah,” Jinwoo said. “You’ve got a bit of a fever.”

Dongmin made a sound of acknowledgement. Or, at least, he tried to. The hand in his hair was soothing, something his mother had done when he was young and had gotten sick. It was enough to lull him back to a half-state of sleep where he was only vaguely aware of his surroundings. Noises filtered into his world, and sometimes he was aware of someone hovering over him. He wasn’t sure how much time passed between the hovering visits, but the next time he was awake it was because Jinwoo pulled his covers off and forced him out of bed, taking him into the bathroom and shoved him into the cold shower. 

He wasn’t sure how long Jinwoo made him sit in the shower, just that the water that was hitting him was freezing, but as it would roll out of his hair and into his neck, it had gotten closer to warm than cold. Somehow, Dongmin ended up sitting on the floor of the shower, water still raining down on his head. Jinwoo was there with him, sitting half in the shower and half out, holding Dongmin’s hand and stroking the back with his thumb. Dongmin felt a surge of gratitude, and was fairly certain that he managed to tell Jinwoo while they sat there. 

He wasn’t entirely sure, though. His brain was a bit fuzzy.

An indeterminate amount of time later, Jinwoo shut off the shower water. He helped Dongmin up and out of the shower, then helped him change out of the sopping pajamas that he hadn’t taken off before being shoved into the shower.

Dressed in dry clothes once more, Jinwoo herded Dongmin back into bed. Dongmin laid on his side, and Jinwoo pressed a thermometer into his ear. There was a beep, and then Dongmin heard what sounded like a sigh of relief. Jinwoo carded his hand through Dongmin’s hair once more. “The shower helped it go down,” Jinwoo said, but Dongmin didn’t hear him. He’d already fallen back to sleep.

The third time Dongmin woke, he was wet again. This time, though, it wasn’t because of the shower- he’d sweat though his sleep shirt, and felt disgusting. Once again, Jinwoo was there. He helped Dongmin out of bed, gave him a cool rag to wipe off the worst of the sweat and clean pajamas again. As he changed, Dongmin vaguely thought that the sweat was a good sign- it meant his fever had broken, even if he was still feeling fuzzy-brained.

By the time he managed to pull on the clean clothes, Jinwoo had stripped the sweaty sheets off Dongmin’s bed and replaced them with clean ones. Dongmin crawled back into the bed with hardly a word, feeling physically exhausted. He dropped into sleep almost immediately after lying back down. 

Soft clicking noises were the next thing Dongmin woke up to. His transition from the sleeping world to the waking one this time was slow. The noises were the first thing he was aware of, and then he slowly started taking stock of other senses. He was still in his bed, tucked under blankets. He wiggled his toes a bit, then stretched his body out a little and huffed a breath at the general achiness of it. He kept his eyes closed, but he could tell that the overhead light of the room must be on- the darkness was incomplete. With another sigh, he slowly blinked his eyes open.

He was on his side, facing out of the bunk. There was a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor. Dongmin trailed his eyes along them, and found the source of the clicking noises- Jinwoo was sitting on the floor, near the bottom of the bunk bed, doing something on his laptop, oversized headphones around his neck. He was still dressed in sleep clothes, some oversized basketball shorts and a hoodie.

“Jinwoo-hyung?” Dongmin said, and was surprised at how feeble his voice sounded.

Jinwoo looked up and over at him, then smiled. “Hey,” he said, setting his laptop to the side and shuffling over to Dongmin on his knees. Jinwoo pressed his palm against Dongmin’s forehead. “You still feel a little warm,” he said, moving then to touch both Dongmin’s forehead and cheeks with the back of his hand. “Lemme go get you some water.” Dongmin nodded, and Jinwoo smiled before he left the room.

While Jinwoo was getting the water, Dongmin had the time to notice the blankets piled on the floor, as if Jinwoo had been sleeping there. “Where’s everyone else?” Dongmin asked when Jinwoo got back to the room, accepting the glass of water carefully and taking a slow sip. 

Picking up his laptop, Jinwoo settled cross-legged on the blankets on the floor. “Manager-hyungnim took MJ and the rest of the kids to practice,” he said. “Binnie wanted to stay, but he was just hovering and getting in the way.”

Dongmin felt his stomach drop a bit when Jinwoo said the others had gone to the practice room, and it was nothing to do with his fever. “Shouldn’t you be there too? You didn't need to stay-”

“And leave you here on your own?” Jinwoo interrupted, tisking. “They can get along without us for a bit.” Then he shuffled a bit on the floor, so his back leaned against the edge of Dongmin’s bed. 

Silence fell between them as Jinwoo started working on his computer again, and sleepiness started to settle back into Dongmin’s body. “What are you working on?” he asked in an effort to stay awake. 

Jinwoo hummed, then pulled the wire of his headphones out of the computer’s jack and hit the spacebar. The downbeat for a song started playing, and Dongmin listened carefully. “I like it,” he murmured, once the track had abruptly cut off, an obvious end of an incomplete song.

“Thanks,” Jinwoo said. He looked over his shoulder, away from the laptop screen and at Dongmin. “Try and get some more sleep, Dongminnie.” The use of the nickname, which hadn’t seen much light of day since their trainee days, made a rush of warmth that had nothing to do with sickness flood Dongmin’s chest. Jinwoo’s accompanying smile was soft and familiar, and when he reached over and carded his fingers through Dongmin’s hair softly it was all Dongmin could do not to arch into it like a cat.

Well, he would have, had his neck not been aching.

Instead, he burrowed a bit more into his blankets. “Don’t wanna,” he mumbled, and Jinwoo laughed in disbelief.

“The one opportunity you have to catch up on sleep and you won’t take it,” he sighed, shuffling a bit on the floor.

Dongmin huffed a laugh in agreement, but didn’t feel torn over not wanting to sleep. Quiet moments like this, even though it hadn’t been brought about in ideal circumstances, were rare. Dongmin wanted to enjoy it. “Can we watch a show?” he asked.

Jinwoo seemed a bit surprised, but it only took one pleading look for him to smile and pull up his internet browser with a shake of his head. “What’s that anime you like? The sports one.”

“Haikyuu,” Dongmin hummed, and in a few minutes Jinwoo had started it from the very beginning, because he hadn’t seen it. The rest of the afternoon passed easily- Jinwoo sat next to Dongmin’s bed, sometimes lying down when he got tired of sitting up. He laughed at all of the jokes, even the dumb ones, and Dongmin drifted in and out of his sleepy state, sometimes pulled into awareness enough to answer Jinwoo’s questions.

They were still like that when the other four got back, pouring into the dorm with shouting and laughter, and then tumbling into Dongmin’s room in a giant pack. Jinwoo shrieked about looking out for his laptop, Bin and Sanha complained about them spending the whole day watching anime. Minhyuk crawled into Dongmin’s bed, settling himself at the foot of it and sitting cross-legged, regarding the laptop screen (where the anime was still playing) with interest. Sanha, following suit, laid himself on top of Dongmin (“Yah! Do you want to get sick, too? Get down!” Myungjun had shouted). Eventually they settled down, watching the anime in a mess of sweaty limbs and Jinwoo got up, disappearing into the other part of the dorm.

He came back almost an episode later, carrying a bowl of porridge and nudging the other members out of his way with his foot. “Eat this, Eunwoo-yah,” he instructed, and Dongmin managed to sit up to take it from him. Jinwoo settled down on the floor again, shoving Sanha out of the way to make it more comfortable.

Chewing slowly, Dongmin looked around his room. Minhyuk was watching the anime with the utmost attention, and Bin was trying to sneakily climb into the bed, now that Dongmin was taking up less space. Dongmin decided not to say anything, just put another spoonful of porridge in his mouth and let Bin settle in at his side. Myungjun and Sanha were making comments about the show, and Jinwoo was quietly explaining what had happened in the plot so far. 

Dongmin leaned against the wall, clutching the warm bowl at his chest. Sure, they didn’t show weakness to the outside world. But here, in the safety of their dorm, they didn’t have to pretend. Dongmin could be sick and miserable, but his members would crowd around him and do everything in their power to make him feel better.

Settling back a bit more comfortably, Dongmin put another bite of porridge in his mouth. He was happy.


	6. ...world

For all that his little brother had been annoying little brat sometimes back before he became a trainee, Dongmin loved Donghwi to pieces. Which is why his heart nearly burst out of his chest with happiness and excitement when the manager told him that yes, he could go home for New Year’s Eve, because Donghwi had just gotten back from studying abroad in China and Dongmin hadn’t gotten to see him or the rest of his family for far too long.

He spent the entire evening simply catching up with his mom and dad and listening to Donghwi’s stories about China. It was so nice, to be back in his childhood home, surrounded by his family, with the attention completely off of his idol life. It was freeing in a way that Dongmin relished, and his life felt normal for a moment. For a moment, he ignored the fact that the day after tomorrow he’d be back at the company building, training without reprieve for the final Autumn Story fansigns and upcoming concerts and their rapidly approaching one year anniversary.

Instead, Dongmin let himself pretend that this was his normal life- talking with his little brother, sitting at the table eating his mother’s kimchi fried rice while his dad laughed at something his mother had muttered under her breath.

For longer than a moment, it was easy. But there would be moments when someone at the table would say something, and Dongmin found himself waiting to hear Jinwoo’s bad wordplay off of it. When he went to the bathroom, it was startling to find it pristine, without five different body washes and shampoo lining the floor of the shower. When they had finished eating and begun washing up, Dongmin found himself straining to hear Minhyuk singing over the washing of dishes, even though he knew Minhyuk wasn’t there.

“Are you alright, hyung?” Donghwi suddenly asked.

Dongmin jerked out of his thoughts, suddenly brought back to the present where he was elbow deep in soapy water and Donghwi was standing next to him. “Yeah,” Dongmin said, shaking himself. “Just got distracted.”

Donghwi grinned at him, taking the clean bowl that Dongmin offered and beginning to dry it. “So you heard all about my adventures,” he said, wiping it carefully and then setting the bowl on the counter. “What about you? How has Cha Eunwoo been?”

A hailstorm of emotions immediately came to mind, all trying to assert their dominance as Dongmin hummed. “The best word is probably busy,” he said finally, rinsing another bowl and passing it to his younger brother.

“You can say that again,” Donghwi said, his grin stretching a little wider as he dried. “I tried to keep up with you guys while I was studying, but the whole YouTube being blocked thing made it a little difficult.”

Smiling, Dongmin continued scrubbing at the dishes. “We did a lot,” he said. “I’ve done so much more than I ever could have imagined.”

“You met Yoo Jaesuk, didn’t you?”

A grin stretched over Dongmin’s face. “Yeah,” he said. “He’s really cool.”

Donghwi sighed. “Ah, I’m jealous,” he said dramatically. “My older brother is so cool and famous.”

“Shut up,” Dongmin said, bumping the younger boy with his hip and sticking his tongue out when Donghwi only laughed.

“Okay, okay,” Donghwi said. He took another dish from Dongmin and started drying it. They finished the dishes with meaningless chatter, teasing each other back and forth. Dongmin’s heart felt full and happy- but, he realized, it wasn’t a feeling that he’d been missing. It was the same kind of happiness that he got from spending time with the other members of Astro. It was the feeling of giddy excitement that happened in waiting rooms when they filmed with DDOCA, it was the same kind of quiet contentedness that he got eating late night ramen after a busy schedule with Bin and Minhyuk, it was the heart-lifting joy that he got from watching Myungjun and Sanha bicker back and forth until Jinwoo made them stop.

The members, Dongmin realized, weren’t just his other members. They were his family, as much as his parents and Donghwi were.

This thought occurred to Dongmin in the living room, as his parents were pouring champagne to toast with when the new year rolled in. He and Donghwi were each given a glass (Donghwi’s was a smaller portion than the rest of them), and together they shouted down the countdown and cheered when the clock clicked over to midnight. He and Donghwi screeched when their parents kissed, and then their mother pulled both of them into a tight hug.

“My two boys,” she said, and Dongmin groaned when she started ruffling his hair. “I’m so proud of you both.”

“Mooooom,” Donghwi whined, trying to wiggle away.

Mrs. Lee didn’t let him go far. “My fearless little traveler,” she cooed, letting go of Dongmin and using both hands to capture Donghwi’s face and bring him near enough to start smacking loud kisses all over his cheeks and forehead. Dongmin and his dad laughed as Donghwi shrieked, his wriggling beginning again with renewed energy. He was released with a laugh, and then Mrs. Lee turned towards Dongmin.

“And you,” she said, sticking her arms out and placing her hands on either side of Dongmin’s face. “My soda bottle son that came out of a comic book.”

Dongmin groaned. “Moooom,” he said, but there was a laugh in his voice even as his mother dragged him down so that she could kiss his cheeks.

The laughter and cheek kissing was interrupted when Dongmin’s phone suddenly went off. Wiggling out of his mother’s grasp, he pulled it out of his pocket and was greeted with a picture of Bin while a request for a video call danced across his screen.

Dongmin looked at his mom. She was still smiling at him. “Go on,” she said. “Answer it. Let me tell Binnie and the others happy new year.”

With a grin, Dongmin accepted the call. “Binnie!” he said, and then held the phone back so that all of his family members could be seen (including Donghwi, who had slunk back over when he decided he was no longer in danger of being kissed). “Happy new year!” they chorused.

“ _Happy new year, Mr. and Mrs. Lee!_ ” Bin said immediately, bowing as much as he could while holding his phone up to video. Bin looked like he was in one of the hallways of the Fantagio building. “ _Dongminnie, we’re on VApp- Aroha is asking for you. Do you want to go on?_ ”

Dongmin was silent for a moment. He’d known that they would probably be doing a broadcast, especially since all the other members had stayed at the company building instead of going home to welcome the new year. “Um,” he said, glancing towards his parents.

His dad made the decision for him. “Go on, Dongmin,” he said, clapping Dongmin on the shoulder. “You can’t leave fans waiting.”

Dongmin bit his lip, ready to protest-

“Don’t worry, Minnie,” his mother said, before he could open his mouth. “Your members deserve to see your face on New Years’, just like we do. You want to talk to them, go on.”

His parents’ encouragement and support, as always, overwhelmed Dongmin. Perhaps the champagne had more alcohol than he had realized, because he suddenly found his throat a little choked with emotion as he bowed to his parents and quickly walked towards his room.

“ _We got a big cake,_ ” Bin told him as Dongmin closed the door and settled on the bed. “ _I’ll try to save you some, but I think they’ve already eaten like half of it._ ”

“And exactly how much did you eat, Binnie?” The pout he received in response was answer enough to make Dongmin laugh loudly, and his grin was still stretched over his face when Bin walked back into the room where the rest of the members were.

Dongmin spent the next period of time laughing and talking to his second family, their words a jumbled mess as they all talked over one another and tried to read fan comments at the same time. Too quickly, it was time for him to go, and he said goodbye to Bin as they hung up the video call.

When it was done, Dongmin flopped down on his bed, letting his phone rest on his chest as he thought about Myungjun and Jinwoo and Bin and Minhyuk and Sanha.

He loved every single one of them with his whole heart.

Myungjun and Jinwoo were his hyungs. They took care of him- he’d not had hyungs before them, not ones that were close like Myungjun and Jinwoo were. Even though sometimes they acted like the youngest members in the group, Jinwoo was leader for a reason- Dongmin could depend on him with his life, and knew that Jinwoo would always go out of his way to support him. Myungjun was unfailingly bright, even in the darkest times. There would never be a day that Dongmin would see Myungjun and be able to go without smiling.

Bin was his friend. Barely a junior, close enough to ignore their age gap and speak informally. Never before had Dongmin felt so close to someone, in a different way than he could be close to his hyungs or his younger brother or the younger members. Bin’s loyalty knew no bounds, and Dongmin knew their bond would last for the rest of his life.

He’d gained two more younger brothers in the crazy ride that had been the past few years. Minhyuk and Sanha were as dear to him as Donghwi, and Dongmin would go to the ends of the earth to care for and defend them. Minhyuk was far more skilled in so many areas of idol life than Dongmin, but even still, he could feel the way Minhyuk looked up to him. Sanha was so young, and Dongmin wanted nothing more than to help and see him grow up well.

A knock on his bedroom door forced Dongmin out of his thoughts. “Hyung!” Donghwi said, opening the door without waiting for Dongmin’s answer. “Mom’s taking out the rice cakes!” With that, his little brother disappeared from the door frame.

Dongmin let a smile grow on his face as he stood up and moved towards the living room.

He had two families. They were two very different families, but families nonetheless. And Dongmin wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here brings us to the end of this fic!!! i've had such a good time writing it, and i'm so incredibly thankful for all of your comments and lovely responses as i've ever so slowly written this. i also thank you for your patience, because god knows i'm the slowest updater in the world.
> 
> as this new trend seems to be, this chapter was written in the wee hours of the morning and is being posted without anyone else looking over it. errors are assured, feel free to point them out to me so i can go back and improve^^

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [ tumblr!](http://www.jinwoosmile.tumblr.com)


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